Phishmule

Scent of a Mule:
a gift from Trey and Friends

Kitty Malone sat on a mule
Was riding in style
When suddenly, like the sound of a buzzards breaking
Kity felt laser beams being fired at her head
She said, I hate laser beams
And you never done see me askin
For a ufo
In tomahawk county

Well she kicked the mule
And it walked the path
And the aliens fired from behind
Till she stopped the mule
And she kicked the rump
And the big old mule took a big old dump

Scent of a mule, you better watch out where you go
Take your laser beams away
Scent of a mule, you better watch out where you go
You better stop that laser game
Or youll smell my mule

She felt the fire against her neck
And it saddened her to feel it burn
When suddenly, like the sound of a breeding holstein
Kitty said, stop, we aint lookin for fightin
In tomahawk county.

A little guy from the ufo
Came on out and said his name was joe
She said, come on over for some lemonade
Just follow me now with the whole brigade

Chorus

They walked into her cabin shack
They had never seen a southern home
And they liked it, better than their ufo
They liked it, they really liked it
They said, heres a place of elegance
Here we shower ourselves in lightness

Stubborn Mule

In Chinese Mythology Zhang Guolao was one of the eight mythological people who became immortal through chance or bizarre circumstances and in mythology he is referred to as the stubborn mule...

his story goes like this:

ZHANG-GUOLAO: One of the EIGHT-IMMORTALS. He's the original black belt at Origami.

This splendid old character did it his way. He simply refused to die. He did drop dead once, but just got up again and carried on as if nothing had happened. That's the kind of never-say-die spirit we approve of.

Furthermore, he had an amazing magic donkey which could be folded up like a piece of paper when not in use. No parking fines for him.

ZHANG-GUOLAO is now revered as the patron of the elderly. If only he would turn his thoughts to paper aeroplanes, he could revolutonize the aeronautics industry.

Here's Your Mule

Forty Acres and a Mule Special Field Orders, No. 15, Headquarters Military Division of the Mississippi, 16 Jan. 1865. Orders & Circulars, ser. 44, Adjutant General's Office, Record Group 94, National Archives. As Union soldiers advanced through the South, tens of thousands of freed slaves left their plantations to follow Union general William Tecumseh Sherman's army. To solve problems caused by the mass of refugees, Sherman issued Special Field Orders, No. 15, a temporary plan granting each freed family forty acres of tillable land on islands and the coast of Georgia. The army had a number of unneeded mules which were also granted to settlers. News of "forty acres and a mule" spread quickly; freed slaves welcomed it as proof that emancipation would finally give them a stake in the land they had worked as slaves for so long. The orders were in effect for only one year. In the Field, Savannah, Georgia, January 16th, 1865. III. Whenever three respectable negroes, heads of families, shall desire to settle on land, and shall have selected for that purpose an island or a locality clearly defined, within the limits above designated, the Inspector of Settlements and Plantations will himself, or by such subordinate officer as he may appoint, give them a license to settle such island or district, and afford them such assistance as he can to enable them to establish a peaceable agricultural settlement. The three parties named will subdivide the land, under the supervision of the Inspector, among themselves and such others as may choose to settle near them, so that each family shall have a plot of not more than (40) forty acres of tillable ground, and when it borders on some water channel, with not more than 800 feet water front, in the possession of which land the military authorities will afford them protection, until such time as they can protect themselves, or until Congress shall regulate their title. The Quartermaster may, on the requisition of the Inspector of Settlements and Plantations, place at the disposal of the Inspector, one or more of the captured steamers, to ply between the settlements and one or more of the commercial points heretofore named in orders, to afford the settlers the opportunity to supply their necessary wants, and to sell the products of their land and labor.

Farmer's Mule)

LYRICS

A Farmer came to camp one day, With milk and eggs to sell, Upon a mule
who oft would stray, To where no one could tell. The Farmer, tired of
his tramp, For hours was made the fool, By everyone he met in camp,
With "Mister, here's your mule." Come on, come on, Come on, old man,
And don't be made a fool, By everyone you meet in camp, With "Mister,
here's your mule." His eggs and chickens all were gone Before the
break of day, The "Mule" was heard of all along, That's what the
soldiers say. And still he hunted all day long, Alas! the witless
fool, Whil'st every man would sing the song Of "Mister, here's your
mule." The soldiers ran in laughing mood, On mischief were intent;
They lifted "Muley" on their back, Around from tent to tent. Thro'
this hole, and that, they push'd His head, -- And made a rule, To
shout with humerous voices all, I say" "Mister, here's your mule!"
Alas! one day the mule was miss'd, Ah! who could tell his fate? The
Farmer like a man bereft, Search'd early and search'd late, And as he
pass'd from camp to camp With stricken face -- the fool Cried out to
everyone he met, Oh! "Mister, where's my Mule."